mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Oh god it's open bar.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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