We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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