omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize