Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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