the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
