With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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