Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
