he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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