I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
