babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
