im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
