Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
