i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
