So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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