I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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