The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
