i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
