i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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