Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
