My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
