Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Who died my cat blue again?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
