so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
