I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize