We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
