ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wish you could order shots online.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
