he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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