morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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