More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
