I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
