It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
