do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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