The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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