Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
