No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
