I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
