Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
