you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
