left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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