There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
