you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
