C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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