Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
