You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
