Sry I called you an 8
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
