Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i now understand why vodka
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize