Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
