Banned from zoo.
Again?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
