What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
