I am puke
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
