Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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