i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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