dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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