An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize