We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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