It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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