This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
