sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize