he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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