you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
